It’s Time To Talk About Men’s Health!
“Man up”. “Grow a pair”. “Don’t be such a big girl’s blouse”.
All phrases I’ve heard, all phrases I’m not proud to say I’ve used at one time or other, and all phrases that continue to add to the stigma and reluctance of men to talk about anything to do with their health and wellbeing, whether that is physical or mental.
Given that this week is Men’s Health Week I’ve decided that it’s an opportunity to share my story and hopefully encourage others to talk more, or even talk for the first time, to someone about their health and any concerns they might have.
Flash back to late November 2011, I’d been married for just over a month and my son was approaching his first birthday. I found a lump in my testicle. I had a friend at university who’d had testicular cancer so it was already on my radar and I made sure to check myself regularly, if you’re not sure how to check yourself this easy to follow guide will help. Despite being familiar with the risks I didn’t want to make a fuss, be seen as weak or speak to anyone so my wife ended up ringing the GP and making an appointment for me. I went, I was examined and I was told it was probably a cyst but they’d refer me for a scan just to be sure.
Christmas came and went, no appointment, by this time my testicle was at least twice its usual size and it was clear that something was very wrong. This time I rang the GP and was told that my referral had been faxed but hadn’t been received, yes the NHS still used faxes in 2011. Eventually I got an appointment for a scan, the day after the GP rang me and asked me to come in as soon as possible, it was never going to be good news. I was told that I had testicular cancer, I was 34 at the time, I don’t recall much else from that appointment apart from feeling like my world had just collapsed and that I could quite easily die. The conversations with my wife and my parents that followed were the most difficult I’d ever had. I couldn’t bring myself to tell the team at work and so whilst I was at my pre-op appointment my manager at the time told them on my behalf.
I had an operation (an orchidectomy) to remove the testicle, the left one if you’re wondering. Despite the blindingly obvious difference in size the nurse still wrote “this one” and drew a large arrow on the inside of my left thigh in black marker pen before I went into theatre. I wasn’t sure whether I should laugh or be extremely worried! Lots of tests, check ups and scans followed but I was relatively lucky, my cancer was classed as stage 1 which is the least severe and it hadn’t spread anywhere else in my body. I didn’t need any radiotherapy or chemotherapy, I did need some minor follow up surgery but that’s a story best left untold and is not for the squeamish. I had a very supportive employer who gave me as much time as I needed for all my surveillance and follow ups and gradually I became comfortable sharing my story and using it in a positive way to raise awareness of testicular cancer and men’s health in general. I’ve raised money for Macmillan Cancer Support through various events and their employer toolkit is really useful if you face the difficult situation where you need to use it.
I don’t profess to be an expert on men’s health but I do know that too many men are reluctant to seek help and support, I was one of them, and ultimately that costs lives and needs to change. Embarrassment, ignorance and worrying about looking “soft” must not stop anyone from seeking help. Those initial conversations are likely to be difficult but in my experience friends, colleagues and family are a huge source of love and support, they want you to talk, they want to help you in any way they can and they will absolutely not judge you or think any less of you, quite the opposite in fact.
Hopefully by sharing part of my story someone somewhere will check themselves or will be encouraged to check themselves by their partner, they will start a conversation about their health and something that is worrying them or they will make an appointment to seek professional help. The more we, and by we I mean society in general and not just men, normalise these conversations, the better.
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