Banter has an increasingly poor reputation and is often linked to crass language and laddish behaviour which is used to poke fun at someone or even bully them; on the flip side though banter can be light-hearted and funny and so is banter really that bad?
What is banter?
What people understand by the word will often depend on their experience of banter and whether or not they are on the giving or receiving end of it. In an article published by The Independent banter is described as, “playfulness”, which is used to “lightly tease those closest to you as a form of affection”. The same article points out though that banter can involve, “humiliation, ridicule and slander”, and can be seen as, “a get out of jail free card to mask abusive behaviour”.
Good banter
When used correctly, in the right context, with the right people and with the right intentions then banter is an excellent way to deepen connections and bonds between people. Banter should be enjoyable for everyone, if it isn’t and if someone seems upset or offended then it needs to stop immediately. There is a time and a place for banter and if you are going to be involved in banter then you need to have a level of self-awareness as to when it is appropriate and when it is not. When using banter it is important to ensure that your body language and non-verbal communication matches the word that come out of your mouth and show that you look and sound friendly, rather than you are intentionally being mean or hurtful. Banter is also much more likely to be good and to be received well when you know the person you are speaking to. If you know them then you will understand their sense of humour and their personality and your banter will be well received.
Bad banter
If you are happy to give out banter to others then you should be willing to receive it back otherwise there is an imbalance in the relationship and this can create feelings of negativity and that someone is being treated unfairly. Banter should never be offensive or use foul and offensive language, it should never use stereotypes and it most certainly should not be discriminatory in any way, shape or form. If you know that the person you are engaging in banter with is insecure or embarrassed by a particular subject then it is never appropriate to use that in banter and to joke about it. Should it become apparent that your banter has upset someone or hurt their feelings then it is important to stop and to apologise, if you don’t then it quickly starts to become bullying or even harassment. Bad banter also happens at work when there is an inequity in the relationship which means one person may be vulnerable due to the perceived or real power or authority of the other. For example, a comment made by an older man in a senior management role to a young female apprentice could genuinely be banter or depending on the nature of the comment it could also be sexual harassment. The words used, the relationship between people and the context are vital. Banter that is done via email, text, WhatsApp or other messaging format is also never a good idea and has the potential to quickly go wrong. Messages can easily be taken out of context, tone can be misinterpreted and even emojis can be misunderstood.
Consequences of banter
Banter can have positive consequences. When work teams have a good bond and understanding of each other then banter between colleagues can help to deepen that relationship and bring a sense of fun and camaraderie into the workplace. Banter can therefore impact positively on employee engagement, retention and productivity if people feel part of a strong team. When banter goes bad though the consequences can be serious and far reaching. If an employee is on the receiving end of banter that they find offensive they may raise a grievance which could then trigger a disciplinary process involving the perpetrator. You could see drops in levels of productivity and engagement and your staff turnover rate may increase as people leave due to not wanting to be around people who use banter negatively and create a toxic working environment. You might find that employees start to have increasing levels of absence as they don’t want to come to work and face banter that they find upsetting. Employees may also suffer from poor mental health as a result of bad banter. When there is an entrenched culture of banter that is actually masking offensive behaviour it can also lead to claims of victimisation and harassment with employers possibly facing employment tribunals and other legal claims as a result.
What can employers do about banter?
A fundamental basic is to have clear policies on bullying, harassment, equality and diversity and perhaps even a specific policy on banter and appropriate language so that employees clearly understand what is acceptable and what is not. An employer’s culture is also really important as it sets the tone for what is appropriate behaviour in the first place. By creating a positive, inclusive culture which uses suitable language you are establishing a way for staff to conduct themselves. Banter can be part of that culture but it must be positive and enjoyable for all involved. If behaviour is then in conflict with that culture and banter is used inappropriately it is more apparent and staff are more likely to have confidence in raising concerns. Training is also crucial and gives staff an opportunity in a safe environment to discuss their understanding of banter and how something that can be fun for one person is insulting or even degrading for another. If you include this training in your induction of new staff then that also helps to set a standard for what is acceptable and makes it easier to challenge any issues that arise as clear expectations will have already been established.
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Why not also check out our blog on a similar topic Banter – When Banter Turns Bad
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